Saturday, September 13, 2014

Imago Couple's Therapy

Theoretical Foundation

Basic Premise

Individual becomes wounded during early nurturing and socialization stages.
Composite image of positive and negative traits in unconscious mind is developed.
Client seeks an Imago match, someone who heals the unfinished business of childhood (i.e. parents wound, partner heals)

Romantic Love Gone Wrong
Connections
Romantic phase- euphoric feeling of completeness
Rupture
Power struggle
He is quiet, she experiences this as withdrawal.
She tries to get a response; he experiences this as nagging.
He walks away, she experiences this as abandonment.
She explodes in rage; he experiences this as an attack.
He fights back- it ends in tears and resentment.
Repair
Partners strive to become an integrated self

Six Stages of Power Struggle
Shock
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Despair
Acceptance

Romantic love= Natures Anesthesia
The illusion of romantic love is that it blinds us to the negative aspects of our imago choice.
We enlist every tactic of denial to keep the bad news of our partner at arms length.
Romantic love bonds us to our imago match so we an stick around long enough to see if it works.

When does Romantic Love end?
For many couples, this occurs when definite commitment is stated.
Lovers want the expectation of need fulfillment and the reality of it as well.
New hierarchy of expectations that are hidden from the couples awareness.